Smaller than Life
Why a blog? Simple. Cacoethes Scribendi -- the urge to write! My literary pretensions and caprices bring me here. Like any writer I write to be read. All my posts, though fettered to my small world and trivially myopic, will live and yearn that somebody connects to them someday. Cognitive frenzies, sardonic musings, aimless banters, incoherent ramblings and trivial indulgences; this is simply an episodic narrative of my trivial world -- in a grain of sand… Smaller than Life.

Graffiti

When I am dead,
I hope it is said,
'His sins were scarlet,
but his books were read'.

- Hillaire Belloc

This is my letter to the world
That never wrote to me, --
The simple news that Nature told
With tender majesty.

Her message is committed
To hands I cannot see;
For love of her, sweet countrymen,
Judge tenderly of me!

- Emily Dickinson

The thoughts of our past years
          in me doth breed
Perpetual benediction

- William Wordsworth

Tuesday, August 24, 2004
 
A Redemption

My Professor told me this morning that he is offering me a TAship. Essentially, to me it means that I can live without sneaking my hand into my father's wallet. I cannot tell you what a relief this news is, coming as late as it did. I was on the proverbial horns of dilemma over my choice between Texas A&M University and the University of Minnesota (before, eventually, the latter preponderated). As if to compound my agony, a mail that dropped into my inbox on the day before my departure to Minneapolis was from a Professor in TAMU who asked me to contact him if I was still interested in working under him. I wrote the following post then, venting out some steam, and then decided I will not post it. The vehemence in the post is interesting ;) . The post:

To the World

I received a mail last night from a TAMU professor who said he was just back from a vacation and asked me to get back to him if I was still interested in working under him! I replied, "Thanks, but no thanks! You are way too ahead of time. Had you mailed me five days later, I would have been in Minnesota, just yards away. I would have so readily dropped by your place and we could have had spaghetti for dinner." Up his!

Life tells me: You silly heap of a dummy! You had better not nurse pretenses of being a deep rational thinker and take purportedly-wise screwed up decisions. Your upper story has long been shifted to the backside of your basement and has ever since been empty. You leave the thinking to the others, shut up and restrict yourself to your queasy expressionist miseries and commiserations!

University of Minnesota, which I chose over TAMU at the eleventh hour after tearing all my hair out and boggling my mind, now welcomes me. To say nothing of my money.

- posted by Dileepan @ 12:13:00 pm
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